How To Offer Someone Your Condolences Through Text
Published August 18, 2020
Finding the right words to say to someone who recently lost a loved one can be difficult. No matter how much thought you put into it, you cannot relieve them of this pain. But it can certainly help. Sending a friend your condolences is a kind gesture that lets them know they aren’t alone in their struggle.
Now picture this: you’re at work, and you catch wind that your friend just lost a family member. You want to drop everything to be there with them through such a trying time. But for a variety of reasons, life gets in the way, and you can’t be there for them. So instead, you think of sending them a text message.
Is it okay to send my condolences through text?
Yes, it is. In fact, I would go as far as saying that it’s much better than calling. The last thing a grieving person wants is to have to answer their phone all day, having to discuss something incredibly painful.
Texting is an efficient and convenient way to let someone know you’re keeping them and the dearly departed in your thoughts. It also gives them the opportunity to respond when they feel comfortable doing so. Sending a well thought out and heartfelt message can do a whole load of good in comforting and consoling the bereaved.
How best do I offer my condolences through text?
Simply put, some people aren’t good with words. No matter how pure their intentions, their message could convey a completely different sentiment. While the best messages are made from the heart, it’s entirely acceptable to use pre-written messages. To make your messages as personal and intimate as possible, you’ll want to use the departed’s given name.
Here are some sample messages you might think of using:
- You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers—my condolences on the passing of your father.
- It’s terrible to hear about your loss; I express my deepest sympathy for you and your family.
- I feel incredibly blessed and honored to have known your mother. I will miss her terribly.
- Your sister was a truly kind soul. Our world has lost another good one.
- I will forever treasure the moments your uncle and I spent together. He was a real one.
- My family is deeply saddened by this news. Your aunt will be present in our thoughts and prayers.
- We’ve all lost an amazing friend in (insert name). Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for help.
- I will never forget her smile – my sincerest condolences.
- I went to high school with your father. His memory will forever live on with me.
- I worked with your brother. The office will not be the same without him—my deepest sympathy.
- Although I can’t be with you physically, please know that you and (insert name) are always in my thoughts.
Other ways to offer your condolences
If you feel like a short, concise message isn’t enough, I’m sure the bereaved will appreciate a nice handwritten letter. These letters can be so much more intimate, allowing you to express more emotion.
Following this checklist may help you make great handwritten letters:
- Refer to the departed and the recipient by their given name.
- Express your condolences and sympathy.
- Share a fond memory between you and the departed.
- Point out some of the departed’s most memorable qualities.
- Offer your sincere help.
- End by showing them your support and encouragement.
- Try to keep the message light but respectful.
Sample condolence message:
I am deeply saddened to hear about the passing of Cathy. Please know that you and the entire family are in my thoughts and prayers and genuinely care for all of you. I still remember the first time you went out with her. We were in the dorm room, and you were sweating from head to toe. I calmed you down and told you she was going to love you. And as soon as you got back, you happily told me about all the details of your date. And from that point on, you guys have been my favorite couple to root for.
Cathy was extremely kind, loving, and understanding. In fact, she was quite a catch that I was shocked you were able to win her over. But all jokes aside, I know that she touched so many lives while she was here. I cannot possibly begin to understand what you and the kids are going through right now. You’re the best friend anyone could ask for and a fantastic parent. As you have been there for me during my lowest moments, it’s my turn to be there for you. I still have some pictures of the three of us when we went over to Lake Tahoe if you want them.
I can’t wait to see you beaming from ear to ear again one day, maybe over a beer. Never forget that you and the entire family have my love and support, and don’t hesitate for one second to reach out to me.
Whichever way you choose to send your condolences, it will be more than sufficient. You may also choose to send flowers or gifts to them if you feel the need. You’ll want to send your condolences as soon as possible, as this is the most crucial time to show your love and support for the bereaved. Whether you send a text, a direct message, or a letter, it will be well-received by the bereaved, in what is one of the most challenging moments of their lives.
About The Author
Terrence Tan Ting is an industrial engineer by profession but a full time writer by passion. He loves to write about a wide range of topics from many different industries thanks to his undying curiosity.